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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually followed by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his actions, leaving him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from others. He first suspected he might have NPD after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he questions he would have taken the label unless he had previously arrived at that understanding by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people hide it, as there is significant negative perception associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, studies suggests this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has accepted it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number